Day 59 - A Few Thoughts from Elsie

Okay. I'm ready.

Whatever this load is I'm carrying, I want it outta me.

Now.

[pause to pant]

No, really...like, NOW.

I've had enough.

[pause to pant]





And, as if carrying this watermelon-belly around weren't enough, Dad keeps lifting my tail and sticking this skinny plastic thing up my butt twice a day and holding it there until it beeps.

And then he says things like, "nope, not yet" and "you've gotta hang in there a little longer, Els."

[pause to pant and burp]

Excuse me. [I'm a polite Labrador]

Anyway, that's what Dad said tonight, after he heard the beep, pulled that plastic stick out and said something like "a hundred point three" (whatever that means).

[pause to pant, pant, and double pant]

You humans do the strangest things.

All I know is, my tummy is too wide and bumpy to lay on comfortably, I can't bend in the middle to reach what I want to scratch, my teats are leaking this sticky white stuff, and I can't maneuver myself into a position where I can lick them all to keep them clean.

[big sigh -- pant some more]

I can't even get comfortable on the couch.

Bummers.

[another big sigh]

And then there are all these funny feelings and pokes and prods inside my belly and under my ribs. It's like something is kicking me in there.

What's that about?

I can't even eat like normal, but at least I get lunch now, too. I could get used to this eating three times a day, except that I feel like I have to pee all the time.

[pause to pant and sigh]

Won't somebody please tell me what gives?

Thanks for listening. I needed to get that off my chest.

Now if I could just get this bulge out of my belly...